Stripped Down

weekend wordsmith

Sometimes
I want to be rid of this uniform of conformity

Sometimes
I want to be naked and bare to the world

Sometimes
I don't want to be Mom and responsible for other people

Sometimes
I don't want to go to work and care about other people's children

Sometimes
I don't want to play nice with the stupid narcissistic people

Sometimes
I just want to be me and do what makes me happy

Stripped down
To music and french fries
Diet Coke and the Beach and a book

Sometimes
I realize those feelings
Make me one of the stupid narcissistic people

And I put my uniform back on

And smile

Fear

I don't get it. On paper, I have the best life ever. I have INCREDIBLE (yes, they are cap worthy) kids, unbelievably awesome friends, the best colleagues a working person could ever have. And yet, I am stymied. I can't move forward. Why? Is is fear of failure? No...I don't think so, I fail all the time. I am not afraid to speak my mind, I have great ideas. I do possess a little jealousy~sometimes I look around and think "I could do that". I could be a writer, a world famous blogger, an expert on something, get my Ed Leadership Masters and be a catalyst of change at the District level. I could eat better, exercise more~I CAN complete that sprint triathlon I keep yapping about, I know it~ so why aren't I doing any of those things? Is it fear of failure? No~I think it boils down to fear of success.