We are on our way to Ohio~my niece is getting married! We are leaving the warmth of our Florida home to go to the warmth of many bro/sis homes. I bitch and moan about the cold, but I really never feel like it is Christmas until my nose is frozen and running and my fingers are numb and I see lights through snow.I get to see my Grandma, who is 88 and starting chemo on Tuesday~please God, I know you have been waiting to bring this angel home for a long time~she is an amazing woman~but can't we have her for a while longer?
So, we are packing up the little Cobalt and heading North. We are safe, warm, happy, not totally broke, growing, learning, living, loving...How could life be better...only if you are the same! May God bless you and keep you~just like He does me everyday~and have a great Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy You Day...JUST BE HAPPY! Life is too short for sadness, grief, sorrow, aggravation, abuse, misery, anger, resentment~bring on the JOY!!!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
A Single Tear
So it was the end of a really long day. I just wanted to go home and be annoyed by only two children instead of several hundred. As I was walking out the door, I noticed him sitting on the bench.
"Didn't your mom come yet?"
"No."
He is a handsome child, just 7. But you can tell he has been there, done that and will carry the heaviness of it for the rest of his life. Sweet-natured in spite of it all, loving, bright.
After much discussion and several phones calls to several non-working phone numbers, we decide it is very late-past dinner time by now- and the police have to be called.
I sat down next to him on the bench and pulled his slight frame over next to me. As I put my arm around him, the weight of what was coming next caused his head to drop and his shoulders to slump.
"Now, no one is in trouble, mom is probably just working late, but since we can't drive you home, we have to call the police."
He drew a deep breath and a single tear slid down his face and dropped on to my hand. It sent a ripple of anger, frustration, and fear through me-how could anybody hurt this amazing child beside me?
He never said a word. He put his head up, straightened his shoulders, gathered his stuff and went to stand by the door. When the police woman came to get him, he turned, gave me a small smile and waved the lollipop I had given him as a good bye. A second ripple shook me from head to toe~deep admiration for the little warrior as he walked out the door.
"Didn't your mom come yet?"
"No."
He is a handsome child, just 7. But you can tell he has been there, done that and will carry the heaviness of it for the rest of his life. Sweet-natured in spite of it all, loving, bright.
After much discussion and several phones calls to several non-working phone numbers, we decide it is very late-past dinner time by now- and the police have to be called.
I sat down next to him on the bench and pulled his slight frame over next to me. As I put my arm around him, the weight of what was coming next caused his head to drop and his shoulders to slump.
"Now, no one is in trouble, mom is probably just working late, but since we can't drive you home, we have to call the police."
He drew a deep breath and a single tear slid down his face and dropped on to my hand. It sent a ripple of anger, frustration, and fear through me-how could anybody hurt this amazing child beside me?
He never said a word. He put his head up, straightened his shoulders, gathered his stuff and went to stand by the door. When the police woman came to get him, he turned, gave me a small smile and waved the lollipop I had given him as a good bye. A second ripple shook me from head to toe~deep admiration for the little warrior as he walked out the door.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
100 Things...
Stole this from Tammi's World
Thought I'd reveal a little of my self to y'all~it seems I live life pretty well where I am. But all the traveling ones...those are my life's dreams. Every single place listed is someplace I would like to visit.
What's even better~the stuff I have done not on this list ;)
Things I've Done - bolded.
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band-played with a boy in band..oh, not the same
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower - I love them-I lay in the backyard and watch
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland-Disney World, not Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain-only the ones in KY
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped -used to want to but I'm too old now :)
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea -
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch - lots
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill - well, yeah
24. Built a snow fort -
25. Held a lamb -
26. Gone skinny dipping-half count?
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors -
35. Seen an Amish community -
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied - .
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person -
39. Gone rock climbing - not in this lifetime...I like living!
40. Seen Michelangelos David
41. Sung karaoke -
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight -LOVE IT
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling -
52. Kissed in the rain-another thing I love
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater-oh the stories I could tell...snicker, snicker
55. Been in a movie - does it count if I dated the cousin of the guy who gets beat up in Porky's?
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business - for a week!
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving -wanted to, got too old..blah, blah...
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp-this one really speaks to my ehart and I want to someday-for my children.
67. Bounced a check -today, no...but there's always tomorrow
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy - still have it
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone -stupid, stupid
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle -oh yeah...Jeff, how are you:)
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible .
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone -
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
It was only a dream...
I have written about the way that I dream. Very Vividly, I can direct a dream like a movie. But I had one the other night that was so real...I want to keep having it...I want to finish it...but I can't bring it back.
In my dream I was working. I don't really know where, just at a job. And there was a man. Tall, my age, nicely built , dressed in a pair of "work slacks" and a dress shirt. Tie loose, sleeves rolled up. Nice disposition, smelled good, clean cut. But here's the real bitch of it all...I never saw his face.
So I go along having the dream. Just working, hanging out with people, getting to know "the guy". Here's where it gets strange. At one point, I get a phone call. "The guy" leans across my desk to answer the phone because caller ID says it is my ex and he wants to yank his chain for me. As I reach across to stop him, I duck under his arm and put my hand on his back...and I felt him. Not dream felt, actually touched him-put my hand on a real back, touched a real shirt and felt it in my whole body. It was like a shock. I woke up then and all I could think was "I have to go back to sleep. I have to find this man!" It was love at first touch-in a dream. But try as I might, I can't seem to have the same dream and I can't conjure him up again.
As I write this, I feel a little grief stricken. Like I have lost something. But I never had it~he isn't real, I don't know who he is~I never saw his face. It is one of the strangest experiences I have ever had. But I tell you~I would know this man if I met him. I have touched him~and been touched by him in a way I don't understand. How can you mourn the loss of something you never had? But I do. I want this...feeling...to be resolved. So tonight,I sleep, perchance to dream. To maybe meet and touch the someone out there who is on the other side of that dream. Who is waiting for the woman who touched him to find him~in the daylight~with eyes wide open.
In my dream I was working. I don't really know where, just at a job. And there was a man. Tall, my age, nicely built , dressed in a pair of "work slacks" and a dress shirt. Tie loose, sleeves rolled up. Nice disposition, smelled good, clean cut. But here's the real bitch of it all...I never saw his face.
So I go along having the dream. Just working, hanging out with people, getting to know "the guy". Here's where it gets strange. At one point, I get a phone call. "The guy" leans across my desk to answer the phone because caller ID says it is my ex and he wants to yank his chain for me. As I reach across to stop him, I duck under his arm and put my hand on his back...and I felt him. Not dream felt, actually touched him-put my hand on a real back, touched a real shirt and felt it in my whole body. It was like a shock. I woke up then and all I could think was "I have to go back to sleep. I have to find this man!" It was love at first touch-in a dream. But try as I might, I can't seem to have the same dream and I can't conjure him up again.
As I write this, I feel a little grief stricken. Like I have lost something. But I never had it~he isn't real, I don't know who he is~I never saw his face. It is one of the strangest experiences I have ever had. But I tell you~I would know this man if I met him. I have touched him~and been touched by him in a way I don't understand. How can you mourn the loss of something you never had? But I do. I want this...feeling...to be resolved. So tonight,I sleep, perchance to dream. To maybe meet and touch the someone out there who is on the other side of that dream. Who is waiting for the woman who touched him to find him~in the daylight~with eyes wide open.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Holy Sh** is right!
Guess what???
16 is DRIVING~has a license and a car and a job! OMG!! I am freaking right out!
She is a great kid, but still. How is she 16? She was a baby yesterday...they don't traditionally give car keys to an infant, do they?
When I called her dad (even tho he knew all about this, he gave her the car for crying out loud!), he paused and then said "Holy Sh**". When I asked him if he got that little heart flip thing, he said yes and I could tell he was a little verklempt. It was Fab!
So, I have a kid behind the wheel-watch out world, here she comes :)
16 is DRIVING~has a license and a car and a job! OMG!! I am freaking right out!
She is a great kid, but still. How is she 16? She was a baby yesterday...they don't traditionally give car keys to an infant, do they?
When I called her dad (even tho he knew all about this, he gave her the car for crying out loud!), he paused and then said "Holy Sh**". When I asked him if he got that little heart flip thing, he said yes and I could tell he was a little verklempt. It was Fab!
So, I have a kid behind the wheel-watch out world, here she comes :)
Monday, November 10, 2008
ENOUGH ALREADY
The election is over. Barack Hussein (look-I wrote it down and Homeland Security didn't take me away-yet) Obama WON IT. Let's all get over it now. Let's act like Americans and get it together---what am I thinking? Americans work together?? Why the tirade for the normally mild mannered LibraryGirl???? I'll tell you why...
I am a Born Again Christian Democrat-yeah, I know...weird, huh. I have never been embarrassed or ashamed to be a Born Again Christian Democrat. I try not to talk politics/religion/baseball/college football because I can get a little, well, passionate, about what I believe in. So while I have never been ashamed to be a Born Again Christian Democrat, today I was a little ashamed to be American and ashamed to be human.
I walked into the middle of yet another talk about how this "man" is not only going to ruin this country, but is also the Anti-Christ and will probably-and should probably be- assassinated shortly. **Profanity ALERT** ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????? Why would we wish such tragedy on not only our country, but on a man who is a husband and father to two young children? Are white Americans really so shallow and insecure as to believe that a man of color cannot run this country? That only Old White guys are qualified? Well, I have news for ya'll-the white dudes ain't doing so well right about now. The Old White Guys have pretty much run the whole ship aground and then sat and looked at each other and began to scream HELP-THROW MONEY while the rest of us put on our big girl panties and began to swim.
President Elect Obama is not going to turn this country into a terrorist haven full of turban wearing Satan worshipers requiring we all turn East to pray five times a day. We will not be over run by watermelon and fried chicken-the man was raised in Jakarta and Hawaii for crying out loud, people-it will be Padang Food Nasi Ikan and Spam. We will not turn into a Socialist state, though at this juncture in our history, I could be convinced to be a Socialist. Because soon, I too could be waiting at the Welfare office with the presidents of banks and mortgage companies asking for a bailout. I could have no health insurance, no job, no home. You see, I am one of the one-paycheck-from-homeless people you hear about..even though I have a job in Public Education, it is not secure -it has been threatened several times this year alone. I have rent, a car payment, two teenagers, and the basics to worry about. I have no credit cards-don't pay retail for anything-don't vacation-work two jobs and as many of the off school and summer vacation days as I can. I still bounce checks some months because my ends don't meet in the middle and even with health insurance I can't see a family doctor or dentist or eye doctor. I rob Peter to pay Paul and then mug Paul so Peter won't have my kneecaps broken.
So forgive me for rejecting the old and welcoming the new. Forgive me for not wishing death on the new President. Forgive me for being a born again Christian Democrat Working American Human. On second thought, don't forgive me. Just do me a favor. While you are exercising your Constitutionally guaranteed right to free speech, stop wishing harm to a man whose only "crime" is that he is was elected by a MAJORITY of voters to be President of the United States. When I pray tonight-and I do every night-I will pray my regular prayer of protection for my family, friends, enemies, country, and world. I will throw a special one up for President Elect Obama. I will pray that he be protected from the very people he will spend the next four years trying to help. And I will pray that God protect us from ourselves.
I am a Born Again Christian Democrat-yeah, I know...weird, huh. I have never been embarrassed or ashamed to be a Born Again Christian Democrat. I try not to talk politics/religion/baseball/college football because I can get a little, well, passionate, about what I believe in. So while I have never been ashamed to be a Born Again Christian Democrat, today I was a little ashamed to be American and ashamed to be human.
I walked into the middle of yet another talk about how this "man" is not only going to ruin this country, but is also the Anti-Christ and will probably-and should probably be- assassinated shortly. **Profanity ALERT** ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????? Why would we wish such tragedy on not only our country, but on a man who is a husband and father to two young children? Are white Americans really so shallow and insecure as to believe that a man of color cannot run this country? That only Old White guys are qualified? Well, I have news for ya'll-the white dudes ain't doing so well right about now. The Old White Guys have pretty much run the whole ship aground and then sat and looked at each other and began to scream HELP-THROW MONEY while the rest of us put on our big girl panties and began to swim.
President Elect Obama is not going to turn this country into a terrorist haven full of turban wearing Satan worshipers requiring we all turn East to pray five times a day. We will not be over run by watermelon and fried chicken-the man was raised in Jakarta and Hawaii for crying out loud, people-it will be Padang Food Nasi Ikan and Spam. We will not turn into a Socialist state, though at this juncture in our history, I could be convinced to be a Socialist. Because soon, I too could be waiting at the Welfare office with the presidents of banks and mortgage companies asking for a bailout. I could have no health insurance, no job, no home. You see, I am one of the one-paycheck-from-homeless people you hear about..even though I have a job in Public Education, it is not secure -it has been threatened several times this year alone. I have rent, a car payment, two teenagers, and the basics to worry about. I have no credit cards-don't pay retail for anything-don't vacation-work two jobs and as many of the off school and summer vacation days as I can. I still bounce checks some months because my ends don't meet in the middle and even with health insurance I can't see a family doctor or dentist or eye doctor. I rob Peter to pay Paul and then mug Paul so Peter won't have my kneecaps broken.
So forgive me for rejecting the old and welcoming the new. Forgive me for not wishing death on the new President. Forgive me for being a born again Christian Democrat Working American Human. On second thought, don't forgive me. Just do me a favor. While you are exercising your Constitutionally guaranteed right to free speech, stop wishing harm to a man whose only "crime" is that he is was elected by a MAJORITY of voters to be President of the United States. When I pray tonight-and I do every night-I will pray my regular prayer of protection for my family, friends, enemies, country, and world. I will throw a special one up for President Elect Obama. I will pray that he be protected from the very people he will spend the next four years trying to help. And I will pray that God protect us from ourselves.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Procrastination
Wanna feel stupid? Try this
Where's the gap in your knowledge?
Seriously, I know a lot of stuff, but clearly not enough. Like how to get back to WRITING THE NOVEL.
Good Night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite...
Where's the gap in your knowledge?
Seriously, I know a lot of stuff, but clearly not enough. Like how to get back to WRITING THE NOVEL.
Good Night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite...
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