Just call me by my gansta name...

DIZZEE BLING
Diz would be OK, too...but only if we are tight

Sometimes I go by my DJ name
FUNK-MIXER WIZZ

and when times are bad and I gotta score a few bucks, I work as a clown
Pogo Helium Cracker

Back when I was the lead singer/triangle player/scarf wrangler for the bluegrass~punk~orchestral~interpretive dance group KAMIKAZE LOVE SOCIETY, I was known as 'Barters with Hand' of the Scrappawank Tribe ~I was also getting back to my Native American roots (yes, I have one Native American ancestor and it was the 70's)

Of course, due to irrational bouts of stage fright, I could only sing after a few rounds of

Screwed Lunatic

1 oz Blackberry Liqueur

1/2 oz Triple Sec

1 oz Mello Yello

Serve in a Margarita/coupette glass. Add a lime wedge

Now that I am older, I do what most middle aged people do~I bought a Hog and I ride with my brothers and sisters The Handlesburg Banana Seat Eagles. Give us wide berth when we are cruising through your town~Ignore the Tommy Hilfiger Biker gear-we are tough~we can sue you, correct your grammar and give you a face lift all while doing your taxes. Them Hells Angels ain't got nothing on us!

well, it's late. I am going to take the little pill my doctor gave me and catch some zzzzs between trips to the bathroom and getting up to turn down the AC. I need to rest up for the matinee at the dog track tomorrow. Really, tho, the meds don't seem to be working. I haven't noticed any real change. What do you think....should I get a second opinion?

Flingify

(for Gassoflabasia )

Potential side effects: gas, hot flashes, and gambling.

Name Pistol
Generator Land

Brothers and sisters

I am the oldest of 4 kids (2 girls, 2 boys, in that order)~less than 5 years separates us all. We love each other like crazy, but we fought each other as strongly as we loved. We would sometimes draw sides for fights. "OK, today its you and me against him and her...and...go!" And I am talking fist fights here, not just screaming and yelling. But we also had a strict Do Not Touch My Sibling policy where other people are concerned. One time, my youngest brother got the snot kicked out of him by 4 guys (with a wiffle ball bat-broke his nose-long story). My next to youngest brother went back to the party and single-handedly whupped all 4 of them, because how dare they touch his brother (he was the only one allowed to kick his ass). We are still like that today~in theory cuz I ain't fist fighting no one~I am too damned old~I might break a hip!

I tell all that because I am watching the dynamic between 14 and 15. 15 has tortured 14 since the day of his birth. She to this day cannot walk past him with out a slap, pinch, poke or tickle. He has always been the passive one in the relationship. He ignores her or screams at her or runs to Mom or Dad, or retaliates in some form but never to her level. She has been informed that one day soon, he will give her what she deserves for all the years of torment and I won't stop him. I can say that because I truly believe he will never hit her. He is a kind soul, while she is Vlad the Impaler reincarnated. Despite it all they are very close and protective. I can't imagine them not being close for their entire lives.

15 is very cute and very well endowed. It is a family trait :). She has a very quick wit and has no problem taking care of herself. Today at the pool, 15 went off the high dive and 2 "dudes" in line behind 14 go "Man, that girl has enormous tits". 14 turned around, poked one on the shoulder and said "Dude, that is my sister." All ready to go if it came to that. Now, 14 is not tall and has a baby face but he is already the size of a lineman for a Division II football team. The guys instantly apologized.

I saw the look on his face as he told the story. He was HOT UNDER THE COLLAR. I have no doubt that if those guys had smarted off to him, blood would have been let. If 15 had heard them, she would have taken care of it herself. But it is good to know that she has a brother to protect her~even if she doesn't want to be protected!

Gold in the Street

I have this very frequently recurring dream. I am always finding gold in the streets. Not coins, or bars, but lost jewelry. Single earrings, broken chains, charms with no necklaces. I have never been able to figure it out. Obviously I am searching, I once thought it was about money, but I keep finding small things of value people over look because it is broken or lost....


Broken
Lost
Discarded

Always finding the small insignificant things
Alone they are nothing
Together they hold value

Boo-Boo
Tears
Bruises

A story told
A child rescued
Never to be beaten again

Co worker
Compliment
Warmth

A lonely person
A connection made
Life is to be lived after all

Look
Smile
Conversation

Who needs the Internet?
A few words, plans made
A heart begins to unfold

Recognition
Respect
Love

Want it~Need it
Always searching for it
Look inside~it's already there

weekend wordsmith

Regrets....

A friend of mine is out of town visiting another friend. In a tequila fueled text messaging exchange (I will spare you the crab infested bartender who can't count as well other non PG rated stuff :) , this came up: Regret sucks! While I had to agree, I also started to think about whether I had any regrets. I do try to live my life so I don't have any regrets. I have made mistakes~who hasn't? But regrets...I decided I had very many should haves/should have nots~but only one regret.

Should have:
~always sent holiday cards
~called my Grandma more often just to talk
~kept in better contact with my siblings
~never gained all this weight
~never lost touch with my high school friends
~always changed the oil every 3000 miles ( and rotated the tires)
~bought a house
~never have ruined my credit
~been dating years ago when someone might have been remotely interested
~told someone about the man next door
~borrowed a lot less money from my parents
~finished my Bachelor Degree as soon as I finished my Associates
~been finished with my Master's Degree
~saved money for my kid's college
~not given up so easily (money wise) when Ex left


All of these things are just moments in my life I screwed up. I still have the time to fix most of them, and I can live with the ones I can't. They are not regrets. I will not think about a single one of them on the day I die...

My one regret ~the one that will forever hurt me, that causes the tears I try never to cry any more to fall right now and the one I can never fix~
I have never shared the same last name as my children.

Don't Touch

weekendwordsmith


She reached out. Then pulled back. Over and over. Never quite touching.
But never quite Not touching

Like the warning "It's Hot~It will burn" never quite got to her heart.

Oh, her brain heard, her soul heard, even her friends heard

But not her stupid heart. It just kept hearing "Go ahead, touch. Maybe it will be different this time. How bad can it hurt? "

Well,the answer to that question is "BADLY" And guess what...it hurts more every time you touch. As much as her heart wanted it to hurt less each time, it only hurt more. Despite the scar tissue from repeated burning, it just hurt more.

So, is it lesson finally learned? Or will she fall for the touch one more time?

Just for Giggles

So, I put the Feedjit thing on my sidebar to see where both of my loyal readers are coming from. Turns out most are coming from Google because they search some combination of hot, boys and speedos. The reason is this. Is it wrong that I find this misdirection f'ing hysterical? I am getting my rocks off about interupting the one handed touch typing of freaks and pedophiles all over the world. So tonight, if you come here looking for hot boys in little speedos, penis in hand, fired up, ready to go...you only get me, a short round middle aged librarian in jammies older than her children. So sorry, dude, put it away and pay for a porn site like most pervs...Unless the middle aged librarian in 15 year old jammies thing does it for you, then contact me and we can chat~slowly~cause I know you are only used to typing with the one hand...

Calmed by the winds

I have kind of a sixth sense about rain and storms. Not like a trick knee or an arthritic hip (not yet anyway) or anything, just a general knowledge of what is coming and how close it is going to be. My Grandpa told me once you can tell if rain is a comin' when the leaves on the trees show their underside. I still look to the treees when the wind picks up. I remember a house I lived in when I was 5 that had a giant picture window and I would sit on the back of the coach and watch it rain. This was in "tornado country" but I was never afraid. And despite living in "Hurricane/Lightening Country" now, I am still calmed, not agitated, by storms. Even during the last Big One, when my house was breathing like a living part of the storm, I had to sit in my window and watch. It was awe inspiring.


The rumble starts long before I hear it
Low below my consciousness
I can feel the calm approaching

The serenity of a thunderstorm
Powerful gathering clouds
Strong wind blown rain

The heart of Mother Nature
beating from her breast to my roof
Like a child held in her mother's arms

Settling me into her peace
I nap wrapped in her safety
while she nurses the Earth

Like her other children
I awake refreshed after nourishment
Stronger for all she has given me