Saturday, February 14, 2009

The Bulllet

for weekendwoedsmith


The Bullet didn't just take the life
of the President
It took the Future
It took the Healing

The Bullet didn't just take the life
of the Reverend
It took the Faith
It took the Dream

The Bullet didn't just take the life
of the President
It took the Well-being
It took the Hope

The Bullet didn't just take the life
of the Broken Man
It took the children
It took the families

The Bullet still takes the lives
of the Innocent People
It mocks the Reward for its capture
It is in control

The Bullet thinks it is all powerful
Destroying our Future, Healing, Faith, Dreams, Well-being, Hope, Children and Families
For all its Destruction, Pain, Heartache, Death, Agony, Misery, Suffering and Turmoil
It is not in charge
We hold the gun

The Bullet never works alone

VD SUCKS*

So, I was gonna write a (hopefully humorous) post about being single and old and BAH HUMBUG VALENTINE"S DAY. I sat down with my yogurt and bagel and OJ (No diet Coke-that explains the headache-just a sec) Ah, much better! Wait! Mom is calling from KY-I'll be back!

OK, now to get to get me in the mood to write, I sat down and fired up the Google Reader, read LettersSpellLove and felt perspective creeping in. OK, so now I need funny to get that perspective monkey off my back~went to loraleeslooneytunes hoping to laugh~that girl is sooooo funny! and got hit with a perspective brick right in the face. Today she wrote about Redneck Mommy and the new man in her life. Her Family has adopted a wonderful 5 year old with special needs. Talk about a Valentine! To celebrate, the blogger world is throwing her a Redneck Shower. All we have to do is write about You know you're a redneck mommy when...so read the next post, please :)

and I will still write a BAH Humbug Valentine's Day post...as soon as I shower all this Redneck Love off me.


*GROSS!! you thought I was writing about VENEREAL DISEASE???
(hair toss/eye roll)....don't you think I would have told you if I had VD? Aren't we friends?? I tell you everything 'cause like...who's gonna know what I tell you here on my blog?. What secrets are you keeping from me?? It's like we hardly know each other. I have to go rethink our whole internet friendship now...excuse me while I go text my real friends...GAWD! WHATEVER!

Nekkid Chilluns and Dirt

What do you get when you cross a Northern-Southerner/ Baptist churched/barefoot Ohio girl with a slightly uptight/Non-practicing Jew/ Boston born/shoes ALWAYS on guy and throw them deep in Florida on 2 1/2 acres and then give them Cracker babies????

16 and 15-the two best-if slightly confused-Cracker babies on the planet, that's what!
16 (to quote myself) walks the fine line between JAP and Southern Belle~what she can't get by eyelash batting and sweetness she gets by bitchin' and screamin'. She is all for Redneck Cracker fun-4 wheelers, horses, football on the front lawn-as long as there is no actual sweating involved.
15 is a dude's dude. Give him a motor, ball, stick, dog and/or gun (his new goal in life is to learn to shoot-my grandfather would be so ashamed that he hasn't killed a live creature at his age) and he is HAPPY!

Just how confused are these little babies ?
Favorite Sports Teams: Boston Red Sox, New England Patriots, Ohio State Buckeyes, Kentucky Wildcats.
Most hated Sports Team: Florida Gators
15's Top Three College wishlist: Ohio State, Boston College, University of Kentucky
16's Life Goal: To be a SOUTHERN EDUCATED LAWYER! OMG!!!

Their Uncle D was once told me he was afraid they would grow up to be Southerners and never wear any shoes-well, duh-but I did him one better and not only did they not wear shoes, they didn't wear clothes! I looked in my photos albums (ok, shoeboxes and drawers) and realized until we moved into "the city" my young'uns never wore clothes. All of my pictures are of nekkid chilluns! Nekkid in the dirt, nekkid eating popsicles, nekkid dancing in the rain. Nekkid, Nekkid, nekkid...How did these pictures get processed without a cop showing up at my door? All would have been explained, 'cause they would have greeted him...NEKKID!

And Dirty. My kids were always dirty. 15 Liked to suck on rocks until the dirt was gone and then spit them out. 16 liked mud. (WAIT!!! I just figured out how she is going to pay for law school: reminder: look up average pay for naked mud wrestlers) Give my two dirt, water and nekkid and all was right in the universe.

So, my redneck mommy moment comes when they were 2 and 3. They were nekkid, dirty and swinging on the swingset in our FRONT yard when a friend of ours stops by. He pulled up, said Hi to the kids, chatted with me, asked for Ex (then Current) and left when he wasn't home. Didn't mention or even notice that both my kids were NEKKID AND DIRTY ON A SWINGSET IN THE FRONT YARD!

That day, I made my redneck KIN PROUD! And I could hear the Boston Kin rolling in their graves...


Sunday, February 8, 2009

You gotta pick your friends better

Actual phone call during my actual working day...


Elementary School Media Center
this is Corporal X at 16's High School. I have pictures of her smoking pot from her MySpace page.
My daughter??? 16???
Yes ma'am. Other students identified her as 16. I just wanted to call you before I called her down.
Well, I don't think it is her. I see her everyday by 6 pm and I have never seen her high (
and I would know what high looks like :) I pretty much know where she is everyday~she runs errands for her Dad after school for gas money~I am not naive but I am pretty sure she has never smoked pot and I know she doesn't have a MySpace page.
Well, the pictures are a little out of focus but we can see her peace sign necklace...
16 doesn't wear necklaces~hates them.
Well, I'll call you after I talk to her.
OK, but can I ask you to please be gentle. She will fall to pieces.
I am NOT going to hurt her!
I know, but she is very sensitive. She will be come very upset if she thinks you think she is doing something bad and cry when you question her, so just be ready.

10 minutes later...much pacing and a freaked out phone call to Ex...

Elementary School Media Center
(Hysterical sobbing in the background)
This is Corporal...honey it's OK. It was Not 16, it was her friend. Baby, it's gonna be OK. I don't know why she's so upset. As soon as she walked in the room I realized I know 16 and it was not her and I told her but...don't cry, it's ok...
I'll talk to her when she gets home
OK, don't cry 16...
CLICK

16 has been the brunt of two actions by this friend. Last week the same friend yelled F@%K You! to her ex-boyfriend's mother ~my next door neighbor~and the mom didn't see the friend, only 16. She yelled at 16, then she yelled at me! Now, I haven't been yelled at by a mom in a long time. Especially for something I didn't do! 16 and I had a chat after that and I know that will never happen again.

I am sorry kids, but what all moms say is true. You have to pick your friends carefully and you ARE judged by those friends and their actions. Is it fair, No. Is is it true~YES! 16 doesn't want to lose this friend and I understand that, but changes have to be made. This child has posted pictures of herself on the Internet doing something illegal. They will be there FOREVER. The thing that really bothered me was that whoever the person who identified 16 in the picture was actually thought she would do that. I tried to express that to 16, but she just swears all her real friends know she won't smoke pot and all those other people don't matter. Yes they do sugar plum fairy, yes they do...as will all the college admissions people, job recruiters, future spouses~anyone who tries to look up 16's friend will be able to find those pictures. Childhood and teenage rebellion has been forever changed by the Internet. THANK GOD is wasn't there when I was growing up...Thank God!






Sunday, February 1, 2009

25 random things

If you are not my Facebook Friend (why aren't you?) here are my 25 random things...

1. I love to read-books, magazines, cereal boxes, newspapers..love them all!
2. I have the two best kids on the planet
3. I have never been married
4. I once visited the Playboy Club in Chicago-underage :)
5. Everything about the game of baseball is good. I love Ohio State Football, Everblades Hockey, not a big basketball fan.
6. I think the sexiest part of a man's body are his arms and hands. I know I am supposed to say his brain, but seriously...biceps...forearms...hands...Seriously.
7. I am a proud Democrat-but a moderate one.
8. I speak to God all day long~but only do a "Dear Heavenly Father" prayer at bedtime~He hears me either way. I am a "trying my hardest everyday" Christian
9. I would like to take photographs of the sky-day and night. I try, but my camera never seems to capture what my heart and mind see when I look up.
10. I really do like to cuss~it's ^&*@ bad!!!!!
11. Fountain Diet Coke is my Starbucks but any Diet Coke will do! McDonald's French Fries are my favorite food (I have never met a potato I didn't like)
12. I have always had good friends, but I have deeper friendships as an adult than I had as a teenager. They sustain me in ways I hope they know because I never seem to express it.
13. I want to write so badly some days it actually stops my in my tracks. I don't think I have a novel, but I definitely think I could be a columnist or an essayist.
14. I am the world's worst procrastinator
15. I am the world's worst housekeeper but I do really good laundry.
16. While I appreciate speed in all it's forms, American Muscle cars are the best-GT, Barracuda, Charger, Challenger, Mustang, Camaro, Firebird, Chevelle, Road Runner and the BEST of all-any Corvette-from the beautiful yet crappy 53 till today. A new Corvette would be my first purchase after I win the Lottery. I have owned both a Nova and an Impala~the rumble of a big block, high horse power engine makes me tingly~talk Hemi and 442 to me, baby! Even my 1990 Camaro ROCKED!
17. If I had the money, I would never leave college. I hope someday to be Dr. Ashley.
18. My blog: driftingdiverence.blogspot.com
19. I want to travel the world someday-Ireland and New Zealand call to me.
20. I consider myself a Northern Southerner~I am a first generation Yankee (Buckeye). I walk the Mason Dixon line, but my soul is Southern. I wish I had been born in the Deep South and I intend to always make the South my home base. My heart lies in Eastern Kentucky
21. Water calms my soul. The Beach is one of God's greatest gifts. Lakes, creeks, ponds~all good. I love rain and thunderstorms.
22. I will always believe in the Good. Once I am hurt, it is hard for me to forget-I always forgive, but rarely forget. But everybody gets more than one chance-cause I always believe in the Good!
23. I LOVE SHOES!!! ...But I really don't like to wear them and I CANNOT drive with my shoes on.
24. I love dogs. I will probably end up an old "dog lady" like you see on TV, crying cause they are taking my 10 dogs away.
25. My three hopes for my children: work that fulfills them, children that give them they joy they give me everyday and a Happy 50th Wedding Anniversary with the love of their life.