Nekkid Chilluns and Dirt

What do you get when you cross a Northern-Southerner/ Baptist churched/barefoot Ohio girl with a slightly uptight/Non-practicing Jew/ Boston born/shoes ALWAYS on guy and throw them deep in Florida on 2 1/2 acres and then give them Cracker babies????

16 and 15-the two best-if slightly confused-Cracker babies on the planet, that's what!
16 (to quote myself) walks the fine line between JAP and Southern Belle~what she can't get by eyelash batting and sweetness she gets by bitchin' and screamin'. She is all for Redneck Cracker fun-4 wheelers, horses, football on the front lawn-as long as there is no actual sweating involved.
15 is a dude's dude. Give him a motor, ball, stick, dog and/or gun (his new goal in life is to learn to shoot-my grandfather would be so ashamed that he hasn't killed a live creature at his age) and he is HAPPY!

Just how confused are these little babies ?
Favorite Sports Teams: Boston Red Sox, New England Patriots, Ohio State Buckeyes, Kentucky Wildcats.
Most hated Sports Team: Florida Gators
15's Top Three College wishlist: Ohio State, Boston College, University of Kentucky
16's Life Goal: To be a SOUTHERN EDUCATED LAWYER! OMG!!!

Their Uncle D was once told me he was afraid they would grow up to be Southerners and never wear any shoes-well, duh-but I did him one better and not only did they not wear shoes, they didn't wear clothes! I looked in my photos albums (ok, shoeboxes and drawers) and realized until we moved into "the city" my young'uns never wore clothes. All of my pictures are of nekkid chilluns! Nekkid in the dirt, nekkid eating popsicles, nekkid dancing in the rain. Nekkid, Nekkid, nekkid...How did these pictures get processed without a cop showing up at my door? All would have been explained, 'cause they would have greeted him...NEKKID!

And Dirty. My kids were always dirty. 15 Liked to suck on rocks until the dirt was gone and then spit them out. 16 liked mud. (WAIT!!! I just figured out how she is going to pay for law school: reminder: look up average pay for naked mud wrestlers) Give my two dirt, water and nekkid and all was right in the universe.

So, my redneck mommy moment comes when they were 2 and 3. They were nekkid, dirty and swinging on the swingset in our FRONT yard when a friend of ours stops by. He pulled up, said Hi to the kids, chatted with me, asked for Ex (then Current) and left when he wasn't home. Didn't mention or even notice that both my kids were NEKKID AND DIRTY ON A SWINGSET IN THE FRONT YARD!

That day, I made my redneck KIN PROUD! And I could hear the Boston Kin rolling in their graves...

Totally Full and Yet Half Empty

Tonite 14 and I were working the volleyball concession stand at 15's High School game. I have been able to send him to private school (the right move for him~his sister has NO interest in his school) and people from his middle school kept coming by to say hi. He hasn't seen these kids in 2 years, but they remember him fondly and were genuinely glad to see him. I am just so constantly amazed with the blessing that are my children. They are intelligent, attractive, really good people and I love them in ways I never really knew you could love someone.


So...as we were working and chatting, 14 asked if I ever reflected back on when they were younger. Of course, I said, we talk about stuff we have done all the time. No, he wanted to know if memories just sort of snuck up. If he only knew...

I can remember every moment of each birth, even though I had an needle in my back and morphine in my veins. I have the smell and feel of those little bodies imbedded in my senses. I can still feel the tug on my breast as they drew life from me the way I drew life from them. I feel the recliner under my back as I held both of them in the middle of the night and we ended up sleeping in the chair because it is impossible to get up with a 15 month old and a newborn. I lament every hour of sleep I lost as a newborn 14 slept in hour long spurts and we sat in the laundry room while the washing machine ran and I sang "I Can't Help Falling in Love With You" for the 10,000,000 time and meant it every single time. My heart breaks again as I think about 15 having to have blood drawn when she was 3 months old (it was just a cold!) and I could hear her screaming and I looked around the corner. She looked me square in the eye and I could hear her say "How can you let them do this to me?" and I had no answer and they wouldn't let me hold her. I have held them through a broken collarbone, jaw, arm, fingers, a couple of head wounds, bloody lips, a busted eardrum and a million scrapped knees, elbows, noses, bruises from baseballs, bikes, and one really good punch to mouth that knocked out 15's first tooth. I have cried at everyone of those emergency room visits, physical exams, and each and every shot they ever had.

I have screamed, whooped and cheered at 100's of musicals, baseball~basketball~volleyball~lacrosse games, band performances, tennis matches and gymnastic meets. I thought my heart would burst when I saw 14 hit his first pitched ball at 22 months, and 15 take the field for the first time in full gear to play lacrosse on the same team as the boys. Years of travel baseball and volleyball league have spent my time, yet filled my photo album with amazing pictures of healthy young bodies engaged in sports that built their stamina and characters.

I have hoarded these memories and more like a squirrel in the winter or a miser with his gold, for you see, as full as my glass is right now (oh and trust me, my life is VERY FULL right now) I know there is a small hole in the bottom of the glass. Their time with me is dribbling out and I can't locate the hole and patch it up. Every time I think about it, I feel the hole getting bigger. And that is really hard because I think every single day about them leaving me. I watch them teach each other now, instead of me. 14 helps 15 with Geometry and Algebra and she gave up her Sunday evening to read The Odyssey out loud to him and make sure he understands it for his test~both without being asked! They turn to each other for advice instead of me. Soon 15 will be 16 and begin the thing that will ultimately give her the ability to leave me~DRIVING! They will go to college, get married, make me a grandma and make me proud.


But tonight, when I tucked them in and kissed them goodnight, I leaned over and yes~ for just a tiny moment~a memory snuck up on me. I felt little hands and wet kisses and snuggley jammies and heard Good Night Moon and smelled Johnson's Baby Shampoo. I pulled favorite blankies up and placed well worn sleeping friends and turned on night lights. And I grabbed that split second and shoved it in the glass and hoped that this would be the one that plugged the hole up.

Daddy's Girl

http://threewordwednesday.wordpress.com/touching, visible, stage


She stood in the middle of the stage
Touching the edge of her tutu
Visible tremor in her lower lip
Looking for her Daddy

She stopped at the sign
Touching the brake pedal
Visible panic in her eyes
Looking at her Daddy

She walked across the stage
Touching her new diploma
Visible sign of relief on her face
Looking for her future

She danced with her new husband
Touching her Daddy's heart
Visible tear in his eye
Looking at his girl

She smiled from the hospital bed
Touching the tiny fingers
Visible smile shared with her Daddy
Looking at herself