Saturday, December 29, 2007

Falling in Love

Writing is like falling in love. Not the "I now pronounce you husband and wife" kind, but the "OMG~he is so hot, do you he likes me? Will he ask me to the dance? Will he even notice me?" crush kind. When I first started this blog, I just thought it would be kinda fun to say "oh I have a blog". Now it is pretty much on my mind all the time! I am distracted by it~everything is blog material! I am underlining passages in books I am reading-collecting quotes-writing down the stuff my kids/friends/family say that might remotely turn into something I can write down here. I have little pieces of paper everywhere. I am distracted watching movies and TV. Like an obsession. I have even begun to feel like this might be something I could do for real~like maybe write a column or a book of "observations"....

The teenage crush part? Does this sound familiar? "OK, so Drifting is sooooohot! Have you seen him in his baseball uniform? I could just die! I walk by his locker like a million times a day. Do you think he notices? I would just die if he even smiled at me! I have that picture my friend on the yearbook staff gave me and I kiss it every night~kinda weird, huh? But I DON'T CARE! he's so cute! So what if I am failing Chemistry. Who could concentrate with Mr. Tight White Baseball pants sitting in front of me during lab? If we ever do go out, I would let him french me on the first date~I swear I would! And I wouldn't care what anyone says! Look~I wrote his name in my notebook. Drifting Divergence. Mrs. Drifting Divergence , Mr and Mrs Drifting Divergence. Don't you love the sound of it?

See? The parallels are uncanny! The thrill is in the unrequitedness of it all, tho. Like a crush, will the thrill be gone when I make it a real part of my life? Will D.D. become just another spitting, scratching boy jock like long line of others I have always been so attracted to~only to find fault and lose interest in once the crush is public? Do I let it get to second base?~Do I write some of these things in a fleshier form and submit them for publication? Do I risk rejection from that which I am convinced I cannot live without? Do I become Mrs. Drifting Divergence????