Saturday, December 29, 2007

A Weird Dream

I dream a lot. For a person who doesn't sleep, I spend the few hours I do sleep in a weird kind of cinema slumber. I inhabit my dreams like a director. I dream in full color, I can manipulate them, I can step in and out of them. I comment on the like a movie critic~while I am still in them. I am sure this is a sign of a deep psychosis, but so is most of my life!
So last night I had a very strange dream. I was on a trip with Ex. Not a romantic trip, just a trip. I pulled up to a store front, took my bags out of the car and waited for my friends to come by and pick me up. Did I mention my friends are all on bus, circling the parking lot, waiting for me? We are going on a trip, they are just waiting for me to get back from my trip with Ex. So I suddenly discover that I have NO SHOES! Not a single pair. Now, for a girl who owns several dozen pairs of shoes, this is a CRISIS! The store behind me, which happens to be a thrift store, is closing, but the lady takes pity on me and lets me in. I search through the hundreds of pairs they have, but none is the right one! I can find one shoe in the right size~its mate is missing, or I can find cute ones in the wrong size, or winter boots (which I don't need in Florida). I am seriously panicking because the girls are leaving without me. Finally, I find the right ones, pay and run outside~only to find the bus has left without me! I stand there sobbing, shoes in hand, all alone. Ex has left, too....I am truly alone
Your diagnosis, Dr. Freud?.... I got the good shoes, didn't I? Well, obviously I have abandonment issues. I wonder if I am worried that since I have no "man" in my life right now, my friends are going to leave me before I find someone to "go on the trip with me", if you will.. Now, my best friend has had one divorce and is working on a second since we met. Another friend has been in (and out then back in) a relationship for as long as we have been friends, others are married, divorcing, dating~all stages of relationship from first date through divorce through very long, happy marriages. All my friends are awesome and would never and have never left me alone because I don't have a man~what the f is this dream about??? I don't know...maybe the whole point I should be worrying about is that I went on one trip and was planning another without SHOES~another sure sign of psychosis!

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