Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Grief Stricken

I had a witty blog all planned about my "reverse anorexia" and the funny thing my son said and I came up with a list "observations" I want to address, but tonight my heart hurts to much. A very good friend has finally realized the end of a relationship and it is UGLY, my friends. I firmly believe this man she has been involved with is mentally ill and needs some serious help. But right now, despite the fact that his insanity has never directly affected me, I don't give a flying rat's ass for that man. Someone good has had her heart firmly crushed into a million pieces, just like the physical destruction he has left behind. This woman is so caring, kind and generous that what he has done to her should be a crime. He is getting vindictive and mean and all I keep thinking is "please do not blame yourself.." but I know she does. She has tried so hard to help this man be the person she knows he can be. Part of the obsession he has with her is because he recognizes, on a deep, primal level, that very fact. She was his lifeline and now HE has cut it and that hurts and he is swinging for his life, not at all caring about taking her down with him.
How thin is the line between love and hate? When do you know that love is not enough? How can you call someone and say over and over that you love them and want to marry them and build a life and then do everything possible to ensure that very thing never happens? How can you spend a wonderful evening, walk on a beach , holding hands, watching the sunset and later that day call your love the most vile word you can call a woman? You can blame alcohol, your past , your health...whatever you want. She has had her moments of lashing out, too. They play like gasoline and fire. But repeatedly hurting someone is not acceptable. I really don't have real way of wrapping this up and I don't know where I am going with it~my head is spinning and I feel helpless...
..please God, wrap them both in your comfort. Please make sure that he comes to his senses and does not choose to do anything harmful to her. I suppose I should also pray that he does not do anything to himself, but right not I don't care. I will ask it anyway, because he has a family that loves him and needs him. Please help her to forgive herself for this choice and the part she has played in this downward spiral. Place the tools he needs to recover his true self close at hand and give him the wisdom to use them. Please, Father, bring them both the peace that only you can give and the forgiveness you grant when we ask for it from our hearts. Amen

2 comments:

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